Have you ever had a sex buddy before? You know, the sort of special friend that you call upon when you get a bit aroused and want to have some easy quality time. It’s not a thing that everyone goes through but a lot of us have had that kind of relationship, and it certainly adds a few benefits to our everyday lives. However easy it all is, there are some risks involved, the main one being that the more you have sex with someone, the more you get attached to them. So what do you do when you start developing feelings towards your sex buddy?
First thing is that you don’t need to panic, those things do happen to the best of us. After all you’re having such a good time with that person that you’re might be tempted to think that a serious relationship with them might work. This is what happens when you have a good time often, you tend to think that things could get better over the long run. So many serious relationships have not shown the level of complicity and understanding that can arise between two sex buddies, so it’s only fair that you might get confused.
What should you say?
If you’re really falling in love with your sex buddy, you need to let them know. Your relationship is based on a mutual understanding that you will just have sex together; and having feelings suddenly grows out of the limits of such understanding. It is simply not fair on your partner that they do not know; it makes the relationship unbalanced. Soon enough, things will go wrong. Of course you need to prepare for the idea that the fun will end the minute you talk about your feelings; but at least you’re giving your sex buddy the chance to find out the truth. You never know, maybe they feel the same? Talking about your feelings will either make or break the relationship, and you owe your partner to take that risk.
Is it just lust?
Of course before you start talking, you need to make sure what your feelings actually are. Lust can be a very strong feeling, stronger than love at times. You may think you’re feeling love when in fact you’re just lusting and desiring that person. Those are two different things but the intensity of such feelings makes it hard to distinguish which one is what. So ask yourself: Could you spend time with that person without having sex? What is it about them that you love? You’ve mainly been hooking up for sex by meeting on the most dirty dating site, so it’s not as though you actually know a lot about them. Could it be that you are idealizing that person and making them into someone they are not? Those are points to think about, and they might actually help you to understand your own feelings. Maybe you’re just having such a good time that you just don’t want it to end; and no one will blame you for that.